Rhythms of our day

I am working hard to get into a good, predictable routine. I noticed that more than half of my blog entries either talk about Zazie being asleep, going to sleep or not sleeping. Clearly, I am preoccupied.

When we have days that ended like yesterday--with tantrums and tears and so much woe--I am reminded how exhausting and stressful an unpredictable, irregular day can be for me. I can only imagine how tough it is on a three year old.

Ever since Zazie was born I have tried to create stable rhythms for our day. Sometimes it works and sometimes it just isn't reasonable. At first it was just trying to get on some kind of regular eating and sleeping schedule. Later it became more complicated as I tried to introduce different activities or outings. Now I think I was originally on the right track working on eating and sleeping rituals. I have to remember that she really loves to be at home, being at home provides a deep sense of security she doesn't get from shifting hither and dither.

Today, we called up a daily routine that we have been on (and off) for most of the two years (mostly off, for the last couple of months). And you could just see in her whole body a sign of relief, as if she just could not wait to just go on auto-pilot. After lunch she had a routine nap. Then we had a routine walk (some pictures from the walk around our little colony are below). And the day ended with a routine dinner, routine bath and routine bedtime.

Going to bed was so relaxing. We snuggled. I read a newish story that seems to be a Danish riff on Grimm's "Sweet Porridge" that made her laugh so hard she almost fell off the bed. Apparently, talking pots are hilarious. Then I told her the story of the three Hindu goddesses that are being celebrated right now for Navratri: Sarasvati, Durga and Lakshmi. She was excited to hear that Durga was so brave that she wasn't even scared of the dark. Then I sang her goodnight song, the same goodnight song that I have sung at every bedtime for more than two years called "All the Pretty Horses." Then I turned the lights out. There was not a single request for more candy/books/milk/toys or anything. Well, sort of. We are working on getting back to our early bedtime. So the lights were turned out at 7:15 p.m., but the mouth didn't really close until nearly nine, but it wasn't working hard to find excuses to get out of bed.

Her body was so cozy and relaxed, she did not even seem to mind resting. Throughout the day, she knew with her whole being what would come next. All of her habits and self-discipline seemed to be at ease and the constant struggle just disappeared. It sounds magical, because it was magical. All the tension in the day was removed, even what are normally the challenging parts. By calling up these old routines and doing things exactly as we have been doing them helped her find calm and to feel peaceful.

I have been thinking so much about how to bring calm into her life. She is so active and busy and excited all the time. I want to her to be able to just enjoy silence and feel okay in the quiet times. Of course, I am so active and busy and excited all the time that this does not come easy for me, so teaching her to do these things means I have to learn it too. I hope that by bringing these rhythms into her body, from the outside, that she will create her own internal rhythms (like becoming hungry at the normal dinner time and--wish me luck on this one--that she will become sleepy at the normal bedtime.) This requires so much less energy and fewer struggles in our day.